This book is unputdownable. It is so well written from start to finish it just grabs you. I found this story to be the most shocking of all the books of this type that I have read. The front cover alone of the little boy holding his soft toy is enough to make you cry.

Joe had a protective loving father who he cherished and adored until one fateful day when a horrific accident claimed his father's life. From that day on Joe's life was never the same! He witnessed his father burning to death and from then on he became mute. His father, his protector was gone and Joe's life became one of abuse, physical, verbal and sexual!!

Joe's story is graphic, violent, abusive and certainly not for the faint hearted! His 'mother' was a monster who physically and verbally abused him all his life and then let others sexually abuse him so she could make money off him. She constantly threatened to kill him if he ever told but she knew her secrets were safe because Joe couldn't talk!

Joe was treated like an animal by his mother and brothers, being made to sit under the table and lick food from the floor which they would chuck to him often spitting on it or stamping it in to the ground!

I havent quite finished the book yet but am compelled to write a review now as it is an excellent though heartbreaking story! My heart goes out to Joe and all he has gone through. Congratulations Joe on writing your story and making a success of your life after all you have been put through by people who should have cared for you. You are a survivor and I wish you all the best.

Synopsis

Joe knew his mother was cruel and violent, but he trusted his beloved father to protect him from her. When a freak accident saw his father burn to death in front of him, Joe was left at the mercy of his mother. Without the love of his friend and brother, he wouldn't have survived. With them, he went on to spend his life fighting child abuse. Joe was just five years old and the horrific scene literally struck him dumb. He didn't speak for four and a half years, which meant he was unable to ask anyone for help as his life turned into a living hell. His schizophrenic mother and two of his older brothers spent the following years beating him, raping him and locking him in the cellar at the family home. Fed on scraps that he was forced to lick from the floor, he was sometimes left naked in the dark for three days without human contact. Unable to read or write, all Joe could do to communicate his suffering was draw pictures. The violence and sexual abuse grew in severity as more people, including his stepfather, were invited to use him in any way they chose.The only thing that saved Joe was the kindness of his elder brother and his only school friend, both of whom showed him that love was possible even in the darkest of situations.

At fourteen he finally found the courage to run away, hiding in a hut by a railway line, fed on scraps by some local children who found him. Joe's is the ultimate insider's story, casting light into the darkest of hidden worlds, and a truly inspirational account of how one small boy found the strength to overcome almost impossible odds and become a remarkable man. Now that he has found his voice again, Joe speaks out against child abuse and helps support and protect other children whose lives have been blighted by it.

http://www.crysilenttears.co.uk

I had gone into the library to find a book. I had no idea what kind of book I wanted, I just knew I wanted to find a book. So I looked on the shelves, waiting to find a title that interested me. That's when I saw "When I Was Five I Killed Myself". Well, if that doesn't spark curiosity I don't know what does! The fact that one can kill oneself and then write about it was very curious indeed. So I borrowed it.

The story is told through the eyes of an eight year old boy called Burt who is currently in a home for children with mental problems. All we know at the start is that Burt has done something to a girl called Jessica; something awful, but we don't know what yet. The story skips between his experiences in the Children's Trust Residence Center after the incident, to his experiences at home and school, before and including the incident. It felt like a steady build up to the grand finale where we find out what actually happened, which was a bit bizarre and confusing, but you sort of get the jist of it.

The one thing that I think stands out in this book is how creative Burt's imagination is. He daydreams a lot, and these daydreams can surprise and shock you as they can be extremely random as well as unsettling. Burt also remembers a lot of things from when he was younger. Sometimes these memories seem random and unrelated but then you realise that they cleverly demonstrate the rocky relationship he has with his parents. They show us how easily confused a young, fragile and creative mind can be when a parent doesn't explain things properly.

Buten writes in a style I have never seen before. He captures the childlike voice quite well, but often I am left wondering whether an eight year old boy would really put sentences together in the way that they are in this book. I still felt a connection with the main character though, and there are some parts that are very amusing and some that made me think back to my own childhood.

To sum it up: a very interesting yet strange insight into a little boy's mind.